Archive for the ‘Humor’ category

Easter Tweets

April 4, 2010

RT @Jesus: I’m baaaaaaack. Top that, David Blaine!

RT @MaryMag: Just got to the tomb. Jesus AWOL.

RT @Angel: Rejoice, MaryMag. Jesus has risen from the dead, creating a vast new market for chocolate bunnies, plastic grass and Peeps.

RT @Peter: I went to the Empty Tomb and all I got was this lousy shroud. http://bit.ly/cAa7wk

1st-century episode of  “Undercover Boss.” Jesus goes incognito with two employees on Road to Emmaus. (Luke 24: 13-31)

Undercover Jesus reveals ID at Emmaus Cafe. RT @Disciples: OMG

RT @Jesus: Bingo.

Copyright © 2010 by Roy Rivenburg
Photo by Lin Pernille
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Holy Saturday

April 3, 2010

(Via Twitter on April 3, 2010)

Conflicting reports on @Jesus’ whereabouts (http://bit.ly/9OS2fD).

RT @Jesus: No, I am not standing in line for the new iPad.

Read the rest of the story:
Easter Tweets

Good Friday

April 2, 2010

(Live-blogged via Twitter on April 2, 2010)

Previously on WWGT: Jesus Christ’s Food Revolution, Judas turns out to be a mole, Peter has some explaining to do. http://bit.ly/9isqod

RT @Jesus: I’m at Pontius Pilate’s Palace. #foursquare

RT @Pilate: Welcome to another edition of “Jerusalem Idol.” Text 6660 to vote for Barabbas. Text 7770 to vote for Jesus.

RT @Barabbas: I just ousted @Jesus as Mayor of the Jews!

RT @Pilate:  Earth to Jesus. Hello? Are you going to talk to me?

(John 19:9) RT @Jesus: RT @theMime: …

Lavarse las manos, Pilate.

Jesus sentenced to death. If this happened today, He’d spend next 20 years on Death Row while lawyers appealed sentence.

(more…)

Recession hits afterlife

March 31, 2010

Forget about streets paved with gold and rivers flowing with jewels. The recession has spread to Heaven.

Theologians trace the crisis to a Bible passage in which Jesus promised followers, “In my Father’s house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you.”

That set off a heavenly real-estate boom – and a lot of questionable financing, said Vatican economist Max Weber. “It took 2,000 years, but the bubble finally burst.”

The result has been a series of afterlife cutbacks, including angel layoffs, outsourcing prayer requests to a call center in India, and replacing the (more…)